must

sometimes i float sometimes i don't every time i wake i'm hoping for her hands and her hair and her musical voice and her laughter

i won't ever stop wishing for her never ever

i have demands for you world they start with the sanity of true love and if you refuse then i have nothing for you world what do you want of me if you do not proffer that i saw a spaceship fly by your window did you see it disappear

nicol i wait at your door an insect an aberration a wind a cloud and you could say anything at all and i would bend my broken knees at your feet forever

and at this moment i finally arrive at the simple truth that i can't figure it out and i will forever battle the plague of my own limitation with a certain disdain and disgust that there was ever anything less to be offered or accepted oh world of mine do you hear you must be in love my dear you must be in love and i will press the music the strings rising and floating to my ears hard like it was a needle or a little bag of cocaine with the recognition that i am an insane person fucking glued to the need for love oh world of mine do you hear if i will ever be a thing in this flashbulb lifetime let it be the demand for love without limit what you give me nicol my truest heart oh world of mine